6/07/2012

Suffering 情緒痛苦



When reading the chapter one of the book "Healing" written by sister D(Sister Dang Nghiem), who we had great impression for on sister D for her smile and gentle voice in Taiwan retreat tour.I felt deep suffering reading her story, which was too much to finish chapter one. I had to eat rescue remedy (flower essence) for two times, and practiced breathing to calm myself down. I decided to skip sangha meeting in Oakland tonight, being hard to share such feeling with other, but coming home earlier to take myself well, some suffering breaking through as being born as women's body...Hope someday I have courage to open this book again to read the story how sister D transformed her suffering.




sister D的二手書"Healing"剛送到,今天迫不及待帶著在電車上看。

很難有一本書的內容讓我痛苦到根本看不下去,請容我無法重述內容,如果看過電影天地跟喜福會也許您可以稍微理解,女人們的身體心靈如何在戰亂中遭受種種負面的對待。只是這不是電影,這個人,我們認識,我們也見過。

這本書不厚,不待第一章結束我必須收書起來呼吸,看到封底的sister D 笑容如此燦爛,仍記得在華山公園wake up活動中sister D引導橘子禪的那份從容寧靜,竟然是從這樣的人生經驗走過來了,如果是我,肯定活不下去的 !


身體跟心裡漸漸覺得沉重,某部分自己女性的身體跟同理這樣的痛苦,當時人在柏克萊準備轉車去奧克蘭共修,半小時內吃了兩次的急救花精(Star of Bethlehem:針對創傷+Cherry Plum:回復情緒平衡,不會失去控制),才漸漸覺的可以呼吸,身體仍然非常不舒服於,決定不參加共修直接回家了(通車還要一小時)。不敢再把書打開來看了, I am not strong enough (or mindful enough) to breath through the suffering. 先好好把身心安頓,這本書我才有勇氣打開再讀。

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