10/31/2012

Holly flower essence 冬青花精



Holly ( Ilex aquifolium)
Holly in Wales



Positive


Protects from Hatred and from everything that is not of love.
Those of generous mind who are able to give 
without thoughts of recompense. 
Can rejoice in success of others. Willingness to share; 
not greedy nor possessive despite vexations 
and personal loss. Understanding, tolerant.
正面花語


免於憤怒跟那些不是愛的部份
有雅量能夠付出，並同喜別人的成功
願意分享，沒有貪念，沒有佔有慾的煩惱和失去
理解，寬容


HOLLY

For those who sometimes are attacked by thoughts of such kind as
jealousy,  envy, revenge, suspicion. For the different forms of vexation.
Within themselves they may suffer much, 
often when there is no real cause for their unhappiness.

适合那些有时有嫉恨、妒忌、报复、猜疑的念头和情绪的人。
适合各种类型的恼怒。他们自己内心更是倍受煎熬
，而通常他们的苦恼并没有真正的原因。




 Holly is very common wild plants in Europe and America. I see them everywhere since their leaves are special enough to recognize easily. Why do such sacred plants "Holly" as flower essence indicate the emotions of  jealousy,  envy, revenge, suspicion feelings. Flower essence maker, Julian Bernard in his book, explaining the reason:  Holly can protect us from opening to such negative influences; we will become prisoners in our own mind . So, Holly has power to ward off evil as western tradition. It is in the Roman rites of Saturnalia, through the Druids or the Christian Church matters little.The tough waxy leaves show its vitality, to prevent animals from eating them, but this physical protection is emblematic of a more subtle protection Holly embodies.(Bernard, 2012;p.155)
My doctor gave me Holly flower essence in the first year I met her. I had been so angry about everything, the betraying ex, the unfair treatment by boss, the unequal situation of sexism...I want to contribute myself to social change. But it was my anger to push me, which is not compassion, love or peace. I didn't know the unbalanced one was me, the hatred, jealous me. Holly helped me to recognize such energy and transform. I practice mindful breathing and walking when I aware the anger seed is arising. I also use Holly flower essence to help me calm down the fire and then I can look at the source deeply.
Source of Anger


Where is the source?  With the journey of studying myself, I realized my mom is one of reasons. My mom is an emotional women as teacher. She could become crazy angry when someone didn't hear her suggestion, her guide and follow her rule. I didn't remember I was beaten by her, but I did remember I was so afraid when she was angering and shouting. I though she was going to be mad. Recently, because of the motherline study, I though about what happened to my mom to let her become such emotional women. How is her childhood life , her adolescence and adult time. I heard her sharing about her past experiences as eldest sister in a business men's family. She has one older brother who is said an irresponsible men, so my mom has to take care and protect all other five younger sisters and brothers, and her mom since she knows grandmom is too week to argue with evil mother-in law (my mom's grandmother). She said many time to me how she hates her grandmother because of her sexism attitude and behavior. It was era of 1950's -70's of Taiwan society as traditional Chinese culture. I shared grandmom's story for her child-bride life in another article, it was popular to see girls as unvaluable objects. There was no need to provide any educational and material resources to girls. Abusing girls was not news at that time.


That women we hated?
The great-grandmom was described as the most evil women in the world to my mom. She seemed abuse all girls in the family but my angry mom. My mom fought to her when she was a little girl in the elementary school. Mom didn't even speak her name, or called her as grandmom. My mom had been so anger about that women to hit the wood door to threaten the women to stop her abuse . Now I can still see the hole she hit on the door. That's also the reason I asked  my mother what happened to the wood door. Whey can't we change anther new one. Then she expressed all her anger to me. I was also a little girl in elementary school at that time, but I never forgot the huge energy she expressed when she talked about that women. Mom said she was happy when that women died. She laughed instead of crying in the funeral. Thought mom hated her grandmom so much., she felt she could only depend on herself to fight with sexism. So she studied hard and worked hard to be a teacher. I guess she ever swear to protect me as daughter not be treated like her.
Awareness and Transformation

However, her anger passed to me when giving me life as the line of mothers and daughters. Her suffering stored in my gene and sub-consciousness. I never understand why I care about gender issue so much since I was little girl. I can't endure anything unequal between girl and boy. I argued and fought back to adults, no matter how heavy punishment I may had later. I insisted it should be equal and fair. Some energy may come from my personality as astrology indicated. But I knew part of my Holly connection with mom. She may not know how to recognize her anger deeply, but I am on the way to transform myself, with mindfulness breathing and walking, I also help my mom in me to release her anger. 






Holly types may describe themselves:


* I easily fly into a rage. SOmetimes I am so tense that evean a small thing makes me mad.
我很容易暴怒，有時候會為了些小事情整個人就變得緊繃快要抓狂,突然癢到像火燒,過敏



* I often get angry at myself, especially when someone has persuaded me to do something I actually do not want to do.
我常對自己很生氣，尤其是有人要我去做我不想做的事情的時候



* I often have uncontrollable temper tantrums.
我有無法控制的火爆脾氣


* I am constatnly unsatisfied and suffer for no reason.
沒什麼理由的我就常常會感到不滿意


* My friend say I am hot-tempered.
我朋友說我脾氣暴躁


* Sometimes I am very unfriendly, although the other person has given me no reason to be.
有時候我對人不太友善，即使對方並沒有對我做什麼


* I often wake up at night to my own voice and hear myself complaning out loud.
我時常晚上會被自己吵醒，然後抱怨聲音太大


* I am very resentful.
我有很多憤怒



* It is difficult for me to forgive myself or others.
我很難原諒自己或她人



* I am very suspicious.
我的猜疑心很重



* I am very jealous. When my husband wnt to a seminar, he had to call home every hour.
我很愛忌妒，若我的先生去參加會議，他一定要每小時都打電話回家報備



* I often envy other women who are prettier than I am.
我常常羨慕其他女生穿的比我漂亮



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