No coming, No going 無處來無處去

I heard the death of the lady I met several times when living in southern Taiwan. We met and worked together for her father's funeral. She was family member of my nun's friend. She worked very head for her family. I still remembered some details about funeral, the color, smell, the emotion people expressed.I am the person being not able stand the suffering of death, which is the most important reason I want to learn from Buddha. How to escape from the fear of death. How to live real life !I felt huge fear about death. Dr. Julia asked and recorded details about my fear about death especially for my old friend 's death in our twenty years old, or the time to say goodbye after retreat, I felt sad crying easily.I looked deeply to my mind this time for the lady's death. I remembered a PV song called" No coming, no going". Sisters taught me the song again when I saw them off and couldn''t help crying. Nowm, with mindfulness practicing, I can arise the stable energy inside to see the lady's death. I know this is the energy she needs now and this is the only thing I can give her for our friendship. May living been feel peaceful at the time of dying.

*photo took in retreat in Deer Park, CA

我為什麼要學佛呢? 總是有機會就會提醒自己的初發心為何，很簡單的想法就是 「怕死」，因為太害怕了，所以才放下頭腦的判斷向學習佛陀如何真正活著。

昨天聽到一位南部朋友的驟然往生，因為師父的原因跟這個女士在高雄工作室租屋處見過幾次面，是非常辛苦的女性。當時我去幫忙的背景是告別式，對自己有很大的啟發，告別式中疲倦、佛號聲、場景人物，棺木抬出來的當下都歷歷在目，人生無常，似乎某些執著的東西再也不重要了。

崔玖教授第一次問診，會很清楚的問從小到大對於死亡的印象，家人的、朋友任何經驗過而我所感覺，總是非常害怕充滿哭泣，高中朋友的病逝，甚至只是參加營隊離別的場合都會讓我很難受，去機場送梅村法師也還是不正念的哭了幾滴。


羞澀的齋嚴法師對我說: No coming, no going，在Deer park結束禪修營時也唱這首，意義非常深刻。這次聽到這位朋友的往生，仔細的觀察自己的心，似乎沒有那麼害怕，有某種穩定的能量支持的我，呼吸，念經，傳送安穩能量給這位朋友，迴向有情無情眾生。