Golden Ear Drops (Ehrendorferia chrysantha)
Positive qualities:Ability to remember and understand core experiences that define emotional history; nourishment and insight from past experiences.Patterns of imbalance:Suppressed toxic memories of childhood; feelings of pain and trauma about past events which affect present emotional balance
正面特質: 能夠想起並理解情緒歷史的癥結點，從過去經驗或得滋養與洞見不平衡模式: 壓抑童年的有毒回憶，感覺過去的創傷與痛苦影響到現在的情緒平衡
Golden Ear Drop is a very significant flower essence for my healing process. I didn't use it till the third year when I finished the part about the surface negative emotions such as anger or judgement. Then I started to use Golden Ear Drop for three years. It was a milestone timing I finally remembered something I forgot happened in my childhood. It seemed important for my therapist that she called these as trauma experiences. For me, it was just a far far history when being beaten, being ignored or got injured when I was four years old. It all happened when I was living with my maternal family.
Now, I would like to check what energy flow in my maternal family. I wasn't the only women suffering in my family. There were too many stories during World war two, when Japan colonized Taiwan, and KMT government moved and dominated Taiwan. It also connected to women's history in Chinese culture. How women were retreated as slaver and inferior people. My family is micro history of Taiwanese woman history.
Let's talk about my grandmom first. She is 82 years now, living with my parents and uncle's family in Taichung (middle Taiwan). She had six children, three are boys and other three are girls. (When I meditated, and wrote motherline outline. I felt a subtle energy bring the message to me that grandmom may have another daughter who could die before being born, so no one talked about her ever). One of my aunt was dead because of car incident abroad 25 years ago. It caused an invisible trauma for whole family member, but all didn't talk to much about the dead aunt. Grandpa past away very early when my mom was teenager. Grandmom is born before world war two when Japanese colonized (dominated/ governed) Taiwan. So she joined Japanese (assimilative) educational program when she was little girl. Now she could only recognize Japanese, speaking Taiwanese but nothing about Chinese. I heard the life in early 20th was very tough. Grandmom was sold to another richer family as future daughter in law. The "Child Bride(童養媳)"" culture was very popular in Taiwan rural area. I didn't know how old she was when grandma was sold to another family, but I heard the mother in law treated her very bad. The richer family (Grandpa's family) had a store in downtown, so my grandma was running the store after her husband died to raise her six children. Grandma is a very quite women, always being busy to take care all family, to provide food, to take care grandchildren, to clean house. I never hear she complained about anyone. Actually, I didn't know whether she had ever expressed any emotions like anger or sad.
Wait a minute, there was indeed something in my memory when I lived in grandma's house. I lived with grandma for 11 years. Because my dad had to work out of the town., my mom, younger brother and I lived with grandma. So, in my memory , in a weekend afternoon, I was dressed to go to city for my piano class. I heard some voice downstairs. I asked my younger brother to stay in the room, I went to check what happened. It was the only thing I remembered grandma showing her emotion. Grandma was drinking wine a lot. She cried a lot and could not keep shouting. I was frightened about the situation and asked for help from other adult. Then I went back to room to comfort my younger brother when my mom and other relatives tried to calm grandma down. Till now, I didn't ask any details what happened at that day. Actually, in my family, no one would talk about anything bad about others. People just endure in silence. They think thing would be forgotten by the time.
For my recalling such memory, I realized how much grandma suffered a lot, much more than young generation like I could image. She was abused by future mother in law. She could not finish her education even she was smart to study. She was women treated by sexism of the traditional Chinese culture. She lost her husband, her children. It is hard for me to image a women can bear such sorrow in silence without being crazy. When I was in my process of healing myself for women issue, I also felt it was not only the wound I was carrying on, it was also the older generation women suffering with me. There is no wonder I care about women's issue so much since I was elementary school girl. I can't escape such suffering anymore without recognizing it, facing it and healing it. It is the healing for myself, for grandma and for my mom. I will write another article to talk about my mom's childhood. Anyway, without the support of the Golden ear drop, I could not recall so many details intensively in one year of 2011. It was also the year I was very serious about spiritual practice. The only ideas to me at that time was " I just want to know what happen to me, the truth, the context, any clue for my deeper understanding WHO I AM. It seemed a worth journey to me. It was painful, almost unbearable but I knew I had to go through this.
Flower Essence
Emotional amnesia is a survival mechanism for the soul, especially during childhood, or any period of life when the individual is vulnerable to exploitation or abuse. This unconscious residue of traumatic memories must eventually be encountered with more awareness, or else it works like a toxic poison which corrodes the present emotional life.
Golden Ear Drop helps the soul to remember and feel unpleasant or painful episodes. This essence is an especially powerful cleanser of the heart, and may stimulate tears as a form of emotional discharge. Once the individual experiences this cleansing process, there is also the ability to contact the positive aspects of the past. This is especially true regarding the events of one’s childhood-when the personality suppresses painful aspects of the childhood experience, connection with the archetypal child as a source of positive spirituality is also severed.
Golden Ear Drop flower essence helps the soul to remember and reclaim this past, so that it becomes a source of strength, wisdom, and insight.
Botanical inforamtion Ehrendorferia chrysantha (Hook. & Arn.) Rylander
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Ehrendorferia chrysantha, a dicot, is a perennial herb that is native to California and is also found outside of California, but is confined to western North America.
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